Ladies, Gentlemen, and Everyone in Between & Beyond…

A Whistle-Stop Tour of Fostering LGBTIQ+ Inclusivity

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Two years ago, I had the opportunity to study at Penn State University for a month as a visiting UNESCO Scholar. I was interviewed by a Youth Development Specialist, who expressed interest in getting my perspective of the most pressing issues that adults working with youth need to know in order to create inclusive and welcoming environments that will enable LGBTQ+ youth to flourish. From reviewing literature, working with youth and consulting LGBTQ+ people in my life, I brainstormed some ideas and pulled together a few key points for consideration;

1. Do not assume every young person is heterosexual and cisgender. This is so important and often takes some ‘unlearning’ on our part — and that’s OK! We make assumptions without even realising it, and it is good practice for us to check in on these assumptions from time to time. For example, as a sexual health educator, instead of saying to the group; ‘Girls, you should also think about carrying condoms, rather than leaving it up to the boys to always have them’, I could rephrase to less heteronormative wording; ‘If any one of you are thinking of having sex with someone who has a penis in future, you need to be thinking about carrying your own condoms’. I recently came across a resonating idea online which suggests that the first thing that pops into our head is usually deeply rooted in what we have been conditioned and socialised to think (‘she is surely a lesbian in that get-up’), while the second thought reflects our learning, growth and intentions (‘…or maybe not, there is no way I can confirm who someone is attracted to by their clothes. Also, absolutely none of my business’).
2. Normalise, normalise, normalise. The type of language described above normalises non-heterosexual relationships. Language is incredibly powerful in this way and can send very clear messages to young people. This is simply a matter of slightly rephrasing what we might be ‘used to’ saying. For instance, a secondary school Business teacher might use an example of a home with same-sex parents when explaining how household costs are calculated and subtracted from income. Simple, subtle, normalised.
3. Squash the fear of ‘terminology’. Don’t run screaming from the evolving list of labels and identities around gender and sexuality. I have seen people figuratively and literally throw their hands up in exasperation with the usual sigh of ‘it’s too confusing, it’s all gone too far!’. Adults know approximately 30,000 words — I assume learning a couple more won’t cause any great intellectual stress. Learn as you go and be open to the fact that different people connect with different terminology. Almost every time I go to a school, a student teaches me a new term or word — try to see it as a chance to learn rather than something that is going to get you ‘into trouble’. I have never yet met an LGBTQ+ person who condemned someone for accidentally slipping up on using incorrect terminology. Acknowledge it, correct it, an apology may or may not be necessary depending on the situation, move on and most importantly, learn from it. Your intention to do better speaks volumes.
4. Acknowledge (and use!) your influence. We can too quickly forget the level of influence adults can have on young people, particularly if you work with a lot of youth at once and are struggling to remember all of the names and faces! There is both responsibility and privilege attached to potentially acting as a role model to young people. For instance, many adult gay men have expressed to me that having a sports coach who fosters inclusivity and actively rejects homophobia would have made a huge difference to their willingness to join teams as a teenager.
5. Strive to be anti-prejudice, not just pro-acceptance. Promoting equality is fantastic, but I strongly believe we need to go further, as this can sometimes be quite passive. Putting up a Pride flag and declaring your school or organisation to be ‘pro-diversity’ is just not enough. Diversity is subjective and can mean different things to different people. In a nutshell; actions > words. Anyone who works with young people needs to consider how to address real-life instances of homophobic and transphobic bullying, hate speech, derogatory language, and so on. A zero-tolerance policy needs to be actively enforced for LGBTQ+ young people to see that their safety, autonomy and presence is valued and worthy of protection.
6. Talk to LGBTQ+ youth. Lastly, tell adults like me to stop talking and go and ask the young people for advice, explanations, opinions. It could be anything from asking a young person what pronouns they prefer, to creating an LGBTQ+ advisory youth board. Avoid ‘tick-the-box’ tokenism and really try to engage LGBTQ+ youth. They need to know that we care, and that we are listening.

Grace O’Shea, WISER Relationships and Sexuality Educator, Galway