Lights on or lights off?
Body image and sex
I once read that when it comes to sex, the most important few inches are between the ears. The power which our mind has over our sex lives is immense. Research has consistently proven that the happier we are in our bodies, the better and safer sex we have.
Body image is a multidimensional construct that reflects one’s level of body satisfaction and the cognitive and behavioural significance one assigns to their body and appearance. Not surprisingly, it is intertwined with sex in many ways.
To argue for the inclusion of the topic of body image in comprehensive sex education….
We often engage in a behaviour called ‘spectatoring’, which pretty much rains all over our sex parade. This is when our body image concerns manifest themselves as cognitive distractions during sexual activity — basically, we are too busy monitoring and evaluating how we look to concentrate on enjoying ourselves. Spectatoring tends to be more performance-based in men (‘I need to keep it up’), while it is more appearance-based among women (‘do I look sexy?’). This interferes with sexual responses, such as lubrication and erection, and has a negative impact on our desire, arousal and orgasm. It also predicts sexual avoidance and risky sexual behaviour. It can make us less assertive and less willing to experiment.
We worry about our genitals, breasts, weight, muscularity. . .and who could blame us? The media seems to believe that our bodies are made for sex and sex only. One quick Google search of advertisements will bring up a plethora of examples — a perfume bottle held between a pair of breasts, a handbag being dangled over a crotch, men doing literally EVERYTHING shirtless. Honestly, who lounges across a kitchen table topless eating salad?! I for one would find it highly uncomfortable and awkward, as I’m sure would my housemates. In a nutshell, our bodies are debased to sexual objects so often, is it any wonder that we have turned to objectifying ourselves?
This piece is merely a snapshot of the link between our sense of body image and our sexual experiences. However, it is enough to argue for the inclusion of the topic of body image in comprehensive sex education, in the hope that young people can grow up a little more confident, healthy and happy in the skin they’re in.
