Sex, STI’s and Stigma
Introducing the Work of WISER, Sexual Health West
“You’re going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia…and die” — Coach Carr, 2004.
Every millennial worth their avocado toast will remember this iconic line delivered in Tina Fey’s Mean Girls — a fun poke at the theatrical scare tactics and misinformation that have often featured in Relationships and Sexuality Education. Surely things have changed? Well, we try…
The relaunching and rebranding of AIDS West to Sexual Health West solidifies and signifies our growth as an organisation who not only offer care, guidance and support to people living with HIV/AIDS and other STIs, but also provide progressive, fact-based and non-judgemental education on all aspects of sexuality and sexual health. Within our WISER programme, we discuss the most common STI’s and their causes, symptoms, and treatment. A few things can happen in the classroom at this point. There tends to be a lot of squirming in seats, crossing and uncrossing legs, looking at each other in horrified amazement (“ooooh so that’s why they’re called crabs”). We always expect a sudden outbreak of frantic scratching and shuddering from even the mere mention of ‘lice’ and ‘scabies’ (“girl stop, you’re making me itchy — I cannot cope”).
Finally, the sweet sound of pennies dropping all over the room as realisation dawns that because vaginas and anuses don’t in fact have taste buds, but mouths do, hence why condoms are made in flavours such as bacon and bubblegum (hey, something for everyone) for oral sex.
It is understandable that talking about STI’s elicits a squeamish response — when you use words like ‘body fluids’, ‘genitals’, ‘burning’, ‘stinging’, ‘itching’, ‘bleeding’, ‘sores’, and ‘discharge’ together, it does not paint an erotic or alluring vision of sex. However, as normal as it is to want to avoid getting an STI, the stigma and shame that still circles the topic is dated, misinformed and very harmful.
Often the stigma can be very subtle and in a place you least expect it — I will never forget receiving an approving smile and a “good girl” when I went for my first ever STI test and was asked how many sexual partners I had had. Often it is more direct and laden with disgust; fingers pointing, rumours spreading, insults flying (“I bet her STI’s get up before her in the morning” was one I will never forget) and the assumption that the person in question is either promiscuous, dirty, unattractive, careless or maybe just the butt of your joke…and yet, all of this still pales in contrast with the stigma HIV-positive people still face regularly in 2019.
I remember first meeting the founders of AIDS West and being in awe of the bravery, tenacity and empathy that they embodied to establish an organisation like this in the thick of the 1980’s “AIDS hysteria”. Hearing about the backlash they faced and the horror and grief of seeing the people they were helping succumb to the disease was hard to comprehend and imagine. Although it is true that testing, treating and prevention of HIV/AIDS has now hugely improved, we have a way to go when it comes to eradicating STI stigma.
Our WISER programme not only informs young people about the facts about STI’s but actively works to break down STI stigma. The approach of shaming and frightening young people is a relic from the dark ages of Catholic Ireland, and apart from being unethical, simply does not work. STI’s happen. The risk of STIs is part of the reality of having sex, which many of us want to do — a lot! The majority of us have had one, have one, will have one or know a loved one who has, statistics have shown this consistently. It is imperative that we encourage young people to talk openly about STIs as we would any other infection or illness, free from shame.
All STIs can be treated, and most can be cured. Getting an STI is nothing to be ashamed of, it can happen no matter how many people you have had sex or how many times you have had sex. If you or anyone you know is worried about STI’s, the ‘golden rules’ worth remembering are; get tested regularly (it’s free!), get treated, use barrier protection during all kinds of sex (condoms or dental dams), communicate with sexual partners, never disclose someone else’s STI status (or spread rumours), and remember — you can enjoy a fulfilling, healthy and pleasurable sex life regardless of your STI status. I am not sure if this is what that famous brand had in mind, but honestly — you’re worth it.
