The Birds, the Bees, and Bravery
Empathy and Sex Education in Ireland
Sex education in Ireland has evolved gradually over recent decades. When led and delivered solely by the Catholic Church, sex education for young people focused primarily on the risks associated with sex, such as pregnancy and STIs. It also featured a strong overlay of religious morality, whereby aspects of sexuality such as pre-marital sex, homosexuality and masturbation were discouraged. As the Church began to lose power over the education system, some sex education programmes adopted a more practical and realistic approach, and young people began to learn more about relationships, puberty, bodies, reproduction, contraception and protection.
As the scope and power of mass media and social media has increased hugely over the past decade, so has access to information (and misinformation) about all aspects of sexuality. National discussion and debate has turned to sex-related topics such as gender, sexual orientation, equality, technology and pornography, to name a few. With details of high-profile harassment, assault and rape cases placing the spotlight on the meaning of consent, attention is being drawn to the role of sex education and the question being posed is; what are our young people learning during sex education in school?
It is evident that sex education must go beyond teaching about ‘the birds and the bees’. While the practical, physical aspects of sex need to be addressed, so does the social context in which sex is happening; the social and cultural values and norms attached to sexual expression, behaviour and relationships. Some issues that need to be addressed are relatively modern and new, such as the taking and sharing of sexual explicit photos via social media, and the easy accessibility and popularity of online pornography. Other issues have been present throughout history and are still at large; rape culture, toxic masculinity, victim-blaming, slut-shaming, sexual double standards, objectification, homophobia, transphobia, body-shaming and unclear understandings of consent.
These issues are all related to how we view, judge and treat each other, and are often accompanied by an ‘us versus them’ perspective. Sex education needs to address these attitudes, beliefs and values in order to be truly comprehensive. One skill which, if fostered, has the potential to transform these perspectives and shift them from intolerance and prejudice towards acceptance and kindness is empathy.
Empathy has always been at the core of the ethos of Sexual Health West, which was founded as a support for those HIV/AIDS in the eighties; a time where such people were often feared, shunned and condemned by society. Empathy also features as a consistent undercurrent in our new workshops which address issues such as consent, body image and sharing explicit photos.
We try and must continue to try to encourage young people to consider the perspectives of others, and respond with kindness and bravery. To use empathy is to be brave — to step inside the shoes of the girl whose pictures are being non-consensually shared around the school, the boy who is picked on for his acne, the girl who is being labelled a slut in WhatsApp groups, the non-binary classmate who is exploring their gender expression. To take empathic action is even braver — to reach out to the person who is suffering, to defend, to offer help, to break conformity and call out your friends on how they treat others.
Evidence continues to grow around empathy and the fact that it can be learned, taught and trained.
Empathy education generally encompasses the following learning points; recognising emotional states in self and others, considering perspectives of others, responding emotionally to others, building positive relationships, identifying similarities between self and others, understanding and accepting differences between self and others and why they exist (e.g. sociohistorical contexts) and how to make decisions and take action catalysed by empathy. It is essential that we marry empathy education with sex education to create and develop programmes which are not only rooted in enhancement of knowledge, but also in compassion.
